Looking out the window, I wonder where we are supposed to be. We have been driving since 8 am on an expansive road sandwiched between trees. The sunlight had been a mix of orange and pink, now it’s yellow and simmering in the cloudless sky. Steven said the destination was a surprise. He and Leo had begged me to come with them on a trip outside the city, which I was fine with, considering my boss had just fired me. A colleague caught me eating leaves again when the students had their lunch break, and assuming he would keep it to himself was my first mistake.
Gently squeezing my shoulder, Leo asks, “Hey man, you alright?”
I turn to face him from the passenger seat, “Yeah, the car sickness should be gone now.”
“Thank god!” he sighs, “the sour smell was just foul. Next time, aim out the window or something.”
I roll my eyes. If only he knew what I had thrown up. Yesterday morning, I finally got my new bouquet of flowers delivered to my apartment, score! I finished the last bouquet on Friday, now I no longer have to dig into the stems. Those sunflowers should have kept me full until at least lunchtime. Unfortunately, Steven tends to drive like a maniac, so the sunflower petals and I had to part ways at 9:30 am. In the paper bag they went. Now I am starving.
I have a plastic bag filled with dried rose petals in my duffel bag, but asking Leo to get it for me does not feel like a good idea. I have kept this eating habit to myself, and after losing my full-time job because of it, I don’t plan to gamble on my friendships. I have seen what happens to those addicted to all things botanical. They have been locking them away due to the threat they pose to nature. This eating habit of mine was formed through curiosity. I had just finished grad school two years ago, and a friend gave me a bouquet. We were both consumed by this desire to have a taste. So, we tried it together. I wondered if the soft petals of the red roses would melt like butter on my tongue and if the stems would snap and crunch when I bit into them, though it was mostly soapy and bitter. Ever since that fateful day, I have been hooked on everything botanical.
“We should play a game,” Steven says, grinning lopsidedly as he stares at the road from the driver’s seat, “so the time goes by quickly.”
Leo’s face appears from behind his book, smiling brightly in the rearview mirror, “Yes, let’s play two truths, one lie. I’ll go first.”
“I guess I don’t have a say in this,” I say as my jaw clenches. I should have just asked if Leo could grab the bag filled with dried roses. I could at least have the security of eating something, and why did I choose to sit in the front seat? I could have hidden it better in the back, but Leo claimed the backseat, and all the bags took up the one on the left. Why can’t Steven drive normally? Then I would be fine.
“Are you even listening?” Steven nudges my shoulder while he continues to stare at the road.
“You’re not feeling sick again, right? You look a little pale and sweaty,” Leo says.
I take a deep breath and try to release the tension in my body.
“Yes, I’m alright. I guess I’m still recovering from earlier. Let’s just play the game.” I sink in my seat and watch the trees pass by, and through the rearview mirror, I see Steven and Leo make eye contact.
Leo appears between the two front seats, smiling brightly. “Alright, I have never cheated on a test, I think lavender smells great, and I have one cat.”
“Well, we know for a fact that you have a cat, and I saw you have lavender bath salts at home, so you have definitely cheated on a test.”
“You know me so well,” Leo rolls his eyes, “Steven’s turn.”
Steven starts, “I have been to Spain, I play chess, and I once ate a handful of grass.”
The car goes quiet for a moment, and all I hear is the engine humming. Then we burst out laughing, and Leo and Steven make eye contact through the rearview mirror again. I try to catch my breath. Eating grass, good one.
“Hey, can we stop at the next gas station? I am hungry and have to pee,” Leo asks.
Steven says, “Yeah, sure, it should be another 30 minutes, or I can just pull over, and you could run into the forest quickly.”
“Sounds good.”
Steven pulls over, and Leo runs into the forest.
“Hey, I also have to go,” I tell Steven
“Alright, man,” Steven says, not looking up from his phone.
I get out of the car and run into the forest, far enough that I can barely see the car. I look around to see if I’m near Leo. When I do not spot him, I head toward a tree and pluck some leaves off its branch. When my right hand is filled with leaves, I crouch down and pull some grass out of the ground. I walk back to the car with my pockets full of greens and see Leo standing in front of his door, a hand above his eyes to shield from the glaring sunlight.
“Hey, why do you have dirt all over your hands?” He asks.
“I tripped while walking back.”
He eyes me a little longer, then shakes his head and gets into the car. I go back to my seat wishing the next 30 minutes will pass quickly.
Steven pulls into an empty gas station with a sign that says GAS & E “Hey, grab some food while I fill the tank,” he says.
“Sounds good. Let’s go, Leo.”
Leo goes to the snack aisle while I walk toward the drinks. I grab a bottle of water from the cooler and a protein bar. He gets snacks for himself and Steven, so I pay for my things knowing he’ll be occupied for a while.
I turn to him and say, “I am going to the bathroom.”
“Alright, meet you back at the car,” he says, turning back to stare intently at the rack filled with candy.
I walk into one of the stalls, lock the door, and put down the bag of items. I eagerly take some leaves from my pocket and rip them into three small strips. I don’t want to choke and waste a perfectly good leaf. Time passes by in a daze as I tear into a few more leaves. I go to rip the last piece as the bathroom door opens. I go still as I hear footsteps come closer to the stall where I am standing.
Leo asks, “Hey, you alright in there? It’s been 15 minutes.”
“Yeah, I am fine,” I say, clearing my throat. “I lost track of time, I guess.”
I flush the toilet, put the last piece of the leaf in my pocket, and open the door. Acting as though I have been in the bathroom this whole time, I take my time pushing the soap out of the dispenser and wash my hands—I sing Happy Birthday twice in my head. Leo hands me some napkins with furrowed brows and shakes his head as he opens the door, and we head back to the car.
“What took you so long?” Steven asks. We sit in our seats.
“Nothing, just lost track of time,” I say.
“Well, it’s about 20 minutes until we arrive,” Steven says, scratching the back of his neck.
“I think it’s time we tell you where we are really going,” he says, driving back on the endless, treelined road.
“What do you mean, where are we really going?” I ask, frowning, “You said we are going on a short trip for the weekend.”
He looks into the rearview mirror and makes eye contact with Leo for what seems to be the 50th time. I turn in my seat to look at Leo. He is biting his lip and not making direct eye contact.
“Guys, what is going on?” I ask, looking at both of them as dread crawls up my back.
“So, we are not really going on a weekend trip, and I need you to understand that we are doing this because we care about you, okay?” Steven says.
Leo joins in, “Yeah, man, we only want what is best for you, and we know you have been struggling with this.”
Steven starts, “We also know you like to act as though you have got it all together even when you don’t, so this seemed like the best way to go about it,” scratching his neck again, he continues, “We know you got fired from your job last week, my friend that works at the high school told me he saw you eating leaves multiple times while the students were on break. We are not judging you or mad at you. We just wanted to let you know that we know about your problem and want to help you.”
“That is why we are bringing you to The Botanical Detox Center,” Leo says.
I turn away from their faces and stare out the window. I see the large, bleak building standing on land that has not been watered in what seems like ages. Someone on the second floor stares out a barred window at the forest, which has been blocked off by security fences. My heart pounds heavily and sweat starts to streak down my back. Slowly, I turn back to face them as Steven parks the car at the entrance.
“Guys, we can talk about this,” my voice shaking. “I-I can work on this from home. I’ll quit, I promise.”
Leo says, “You were grabbing leaves in the forest when we stopped, and I saw it. You had dirt all over you. We can’t be sure you will stop without supervision. This is the best solution.”
A woman wearing a white coat and a man in a black uniform walk toward the car. Steven and Leo get out and greet them. They all nod, their conversation muffled by the closed car door. I quickly shove my last leaves into my mouth when they point at my door. Nodding their heads again, they walk toward the door and try to pry me out. All I can do is try to kick them off, but to no avail, they drag me into The Botanical Detox Center.